


Gordon, Please Sing Me A Lullaby

by shugarcone



Category: Half-Life VR But The AI Is Self Aware
Genre: Fluff, Insomnia, M/M, OH AND JOSHUA DOESNT EXIST, Singing, Song Lyrics, THOUGH HE IS MENTIONED, idk - Freeform, theres a tiny bit of angst if you squint, uhhhhhhhhhhhh
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-25
Updated: 2020-06-25
Packaged: 2021-03-04 07:41:06
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,384
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24910111
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/shugarcone/pseuds/shugarcone
Summary: The science team is fast asleep. Well, except for Gordon. Benry offers a suggestion; sing a lullaby.
Relationships: Benrey/Gordon Freeman
Comments: 6
Kudos: 191





	Gordon, Please Sing Me A Lullaby

The science team was exhausted. Holed up in some off room deep in Black Mesa, Gordon sat on the dirty floor with the others, leaning his back against a large crate, wondering if it was night outside. He stared up at the ceiling as if he was willing himself to see through it to the outside. Of course, nothing happened. The ceiling was just a ceiling. He sighed and looked back down, peering at his companions. Bubby and Dr. Coomer were already fast asleep, leaning onto each other, not unlike two kittens snuggling together in their sleep. Tommy wasn't much further away, curled up in on himself and using his own arm as a sort of surrogate pillow. Benry was- wait where did Benry go? Gordon scanned the room. He jumped at the sound of Sweet Voice above and slightly behind him. He turned and saw Benry sitting above him, well, more like lying on his stomach on top of the crate, head balanced on his hands with elbows leaning on the box's wood. A single yellow orb of Sweet Voice floated near his head. Gordon turned away.

"Can't sleep?" Benry asked after a pause.

To be honest, Gordon was flat out wiped. His eyes felt all sore, like he'd been awake for far too long and they just were begging him to just close them but the issue was he could not for the life of him fall asleep. He wasn't going to tell Benry that though.

"What's it to you?" he answered, not turning to face Benry again and instead staring at the wall across from where he sat. "You're not exactly asleep either."

"Don't need sleep."

Right. The whole "not human" thing. Gordon rolled his eyes. The two fell silent again for some time.

"You still up?" Benry's voice spoke up again, breaking the silence.

Gordon sighed in frustration. Why couldn't he sleep? Was he still on edge? His heart didn't feel like it was racing or anything. He'd never been an insominac as far as he remembered, if you didn't count manic all-nighters spent excitedly outlining whatever science mumbo-jumbo theories he'd come up with occasionally to later present to Black Mesa higher-ups. He felt more depressed than manic at the moment anyway, so what was keeping him up? He realized he'd never properly answered Benry's question.

"Yeah." He hadn't meant for his answer to sound so cold, but he _was_ frustrated.

"Hey, I got an idea," Benry says after a moment's thought. "You ever sing your cringe son a fail lullaby?"

Gordon's insides felt hollow. He'd hoped the others would have forgotten about "Joshua" already. He didn't have the heart to tell them he hadn't put anything in the frame yet and that the baby in there was just a stock photo. Could you really blame him? He'd panicked. Gordon didn't really have time to start a family even if he'd wanted to. Working for Black Mesa was really a full time commitment.

"Uh, not really?" At the least he wasn't lying.

"Come on," Benry pressured to Gordon's dismay, "You gotta know some kind of baby sleep time song."

"...Baby sleep time song?"

"Yeah, a fucking... Benry made a gesture that Gordon couldn't see. "You know?" Gordon didn't really.

"You want me to sing a lullaby?"

"Yeah do it."

"I don't really know any," Gordon responded, trying his best to get out of it without actually saying no.

Benry let out a chuckle, then hummed out some more Sweet Voice. These went further out this time so Gordon was able to see their teal hue. "Might help. You never know."

Gordon pondered this. Staring at the walls and ceiling wasn't doing much anyway. Maybe it was worth a shot. But what song? Gordon seriously didn't know any actual lullabies.

Then one song came to mind. It wasn't exactly a lullaby, but for what it was it was surprisingly close.

"Promise you won't make fun of my singing?" Gordon asked before beginning. The last thing he needed was more heckling from the damn security guard.

Benry said nothing. Gordon didn't sing.

After waiting long enough, Benry let out a groan. "Fiiiine," he muttered.

Gordon still hesitated to start, but eventually began, trying to remain quiet enough to not wake the others.

_"Here's something to think about"_

_"When things go wrong all the time"_

No reaction. Gordon tried not to sound nervous.

_"That luck can change like that high tide"_

_"Bad things can soon turn out alright"_

Benry made some shuffling noises, changing his position on top of the crate. Gordon couldn't see, but he was laying on his back now, head hanging down over the edge of the crate.

_"Misfortune, and tragedy"_

_"I can't seem to mind"_

Benry wasn't familiar with this song, so he just quietly listened.

_"Soon good will happen"_

_"If you look you just might find"_

Gordon sounded a little more confident in his singing now, finding his rhythm.

_"So when you think this is the end"_

_"Good things are just around the bend"_

Benry momentarily thought on the lyrics so far. It was a positive message, one he wasn't sure he believed.

_"Again, bad things are just a sign"_

_"Good things will happen in due time"_

There was a pause from Gordon and Benry thought he might be done, but Gordon quickly continued.

_"And with each passing day"_

_"So goes another life"_

Benry closed his eyes to listen. Gordon's voice wavered at the next bit on accident.

_"Everybody wants to live"_

_"Some people want to die"_

Benry's eyes snapped open. The combination of the lyrics' content and the change in Gordon's voice made him feel... something. He couldn't place it. He wasn't exactly the best at understanding his own emotions, let alone others'.

_"So close your eyes"_

_"'Cause it's alright to say Hello"_

_"Goodnight"_

_"Goodnight"_

_"Goodnight"_

_"Goodnight"_

Gordon considered stopping there, but ultimately decided to continue. He could tell if it was actually working or not yet, but his eyes were admittedly drooping a bit.

_"So if this is to be our time"_

_"Just think of what we left behind"_

Benry looked up at the ceiling. He tried to think of a word to describe what he was feeling. Unfortunately for him, he'd be more distracted by the next lyric.

_"Will they say good of you to last"_

_"Or lose the memory of you fast?"_

Benry now thought on this. Gordon was an important man. A theoretical physicist and pretty high up the rankings at Black Mesa, even if the company was pretty much defunct at this point. Benry was just some security guard. Right?

_"Forever and ever"_

_"A wonderful thing"_

Benry began to get up from his spot on the crate, first getting into an actual seated position with his legs hanging over the side. He hoped Gordon wouldn't stop singing.

_"Will someone be grateful"_

_"For what we tried to bring?"_

Benry slid off of the crate, planting his feet on the ground. Gordon turned at the sound, meeting Benry's eyes. He didn't stop singing though.

_"It's late..."_

_"But just remember then"_

_"This day will never come again"_

Cautiously, Benry sat down next to Gordon. Gordon didn't stop him, but he did have a look on his face that Benry again couldn't place. Gordon decided to forgo trying to imitate the instrumental break that was supposed to happen next and just move on the the next part of the lyrics.

_"Everybody wants to live"_

_"Some people want to die"_

Benry wanted to lean his head on Gordon's shoulder so badly, but he already felt like he was invading Gordon's personal bubble just by sitting next to him.

_"So close your eyes"_

_"'Cause it's alright to say Hello"_

_"Goodnight"_

_"Goodnight"_

_"Goodnight"_

_"Hello, Goodnight"_

Gordon tried to continue the little "hellos" and "goodnights" that would end the song, but it turns out Benry was right and soon he was fast asleep, the last lyric out of his mouth a small, quiet and dragged out "goodbye".

"Gordon?" Benry tried. Nothing. Gordon was fast asleep. Benry was about to get up when Gordon's body slumped over slightly, his head landing on Benry's shoulder. He flinched at this slightly, but ultimately decided to stay.

He stayed there all night in fact, content with listening to the sounds of Gordon's soft snores.

**Author's Note:**

> The song is Hello Goodnight by The Aquabats. I will stand by my Rude Boy Gordon headcanon if it kills me (although, yes, I know that isn't very ska-ish, but who really cares? Not me.).


End file.
